


Somebody that I used to know

by babykit87l



Category: SKAM (Italy)
Genre: Angst, Boys In Love, M/M, Missing Moments, Secret Relationship, end of a love;, no happy ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-28
Updated: 2020-05-28
Packaged: 2021-03-02 21:28:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,984
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24423535
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/babykit87l/pseuds/babykit87l
Summary: An excursus on Niccolò's life from the moment he arrived at Kennedy to Louai's return in Rome.This is my first attempt to write a story in English language.
Relationships: Niccolò Fares/Martino Rametta
Comments: 5
Kudos: 17





	Somebody that I used to know

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, this is my first attempt to write in English.  
> This story sucks, I don't know how to write and Niccolò's POV makes me emotional so I'm very sorry for anyone who approaches this oneshot. Forgive me, please!

**SOMEBODY THAT I USED TO KNOW**

**September 17** **th** **2018 h. 08:11 am**

He was in front of the gate at Kennedy school and he was a bit nervous. Starting a new year, in a different school, where he didn't know anyone, gave him a lot of anxiety. It's for your sake Nico his mother’d said. His sake would have been to stay together with Driss, Malik and the others guys. Even without him. Who knows how he was. 

His thoughts were distracted by the arrival of a message on the phone. 

**\- Hey** **Colino** **good luck for today <3 **

Maddalena. She hadn't left him one moment of breath since they 'clarified' and he'd returned to her. He replied her quickly with a simple _thank you_ , immediately putting the phone back in his pocket. 

“Niccolò! What are you doing here?” 

He spun around and found Sana ahead. He hadn't seen her for months and he felt terribly embarrassed. 

“Hi! I'm coming to Kennedy this year. I have lost my last months at Virgilio.” He said with a sad smile. There was no need to add anything else. 

“How are you?” 

“Everything’s okay. Your brother?” 

“He’s fine. In October he will start university. But I don't think it will last long.” She answered, laughing softly. 

“Studying isn't really his thing…” 

For a while they were silent, Niccolò looked at the sidewalk, Sana's gaze wandered between him and the gate. 

“Look ... did you hear news about Louai?” Then he asked, the voice that just could not mask the pain. 

“Not since they took him away from Rome. I can ask Rami or my parents if they know anything.” 

“No, forget it. I wouldn't want to mess it up even more.” He said embarrassed, touching his neck. 

“Anyway, I've heard Rami say he wants to ask our parents for help.” 

“And what can they do? I'm just sorry I ruined his life because it wasn't my intention. I feel so guilty...” 

“I think he knows. We know it.” 

“I doubt it...” Niccolò sighed and swallowed for the umpteenth time the lump in the throat, that he felt forming every time he thought about what had happened. “Anyway, can you please pretend you don't know me here? I would like to start again...” 

Sana stared at him for a moment and felt herself sinking into the pain she felt in those words. Niccolò wanted to start again from scratch, to pretend that the last year had never happened. Sad, but understandable. And she nodded, because Niccolò deserved to recover and if this was his way to do it, she wouldn’t have opposed it. 

“Sure! Now I go, my friends are coming.” She greeted him and turned to the girls who were not far away. 

Niccolò looked at them, smiling and serene, and for a moment he wished he could go back a year and avoid everything that had happened. 

*** 

**November 7** **th** **2018 h. 04:49 pm**

He hadn't resisted. 

After the events with Louai, he had to ask what his parents thought and even if Martino had reassured him that it was not a problem, the anxiety that he had simply lied to protect him, was eating him alive. He knew that Martino's parents were not like Louai's but, heck, the fear that the same could happen, that Martino might end up badly, maybe kicked out of the house, beaten or worse, was driving him crazy. 

He took the computer and opened Instagram. Even if his parents had removed his profiles and locked his computer to prevent him from entering on social media and creating new profiles, he had found a way to visit the others’ ones. So, he went into Martino's and stared at those few photos he had posted. 

He smiled at Martino's smile in those photos. Niccolò knew he had a little fixation with him but after that kiss in the pool and how they spent the following day, he could no longer think of anything else. Martino was sweet, nice, beautiful. After Louai, he had never looked at any boy again, he had limited himself to focusing on Maddalena and the therapy, which had intensified before school started. Martino, however, had come like a tornado in his life, so suddenly, that he hadn't even had the chance to think about it. Because if he thought about it, he probably wouldn't have done anything: he certainly wouldn't have followed him into the radio closet, he wouldn't have lent him the weed, even if on balance Martino hadn't taken it away, because he had stayed there with him, but above all, he would not have invited him to the Halloween party then dragged him into that semi-abandoned swimming pool. But everything had happened and now, he realized that he was starting to feel emotions that would not lead to anything good. 

Sometimes he was afraid that he had imagined everything, that it was only the result of his disturbed mind, a hallucination. But the messages on the phone were the proof that it was all true. It had to be. 

“What are you doing?” 

His mother shook him out of his thoughts, so he quickly closed the computer and smiled at her. “Nothing... a school search.” 

“How are you?” 

“Fine. Why?” 

“Maddalena told me-” 

“What a drag! I don't give a shit about what Maddalena said to you. I don’t care!” 

“I'm worried. I don't want it to happen like with... you know who.” 

“You know who has a name. It's Louai. And anyway, whether or not there is another person, I took a break with Maddalena because I'm tired of her. I am no longer comfortable with her. Maybe you should give more credit to me than to her. No?” 

“Okay. But please, be careful on your behaviour.” 

“Yes!” 

“Promise it!” 

“Okay, I promise! Now, can you go out my room and leave me alone? Please...” 

“Fine... and study!” 

Then Anna left the room and Niccolò reopened the computer, where Martino's profile reappeared immediately. He stared at it for a moment as her mother's words echoed in his mind. He sighed and closed the computer irritably, shaking his head. 

*** 

**November 8** **th** **2018 h. 03:12 pm**

“What are you doing here?” Niccolò asked when Maddalena appeared at the door of his house. 

“You know why. We can't throw away three years of a love story because you took a crush for another guy. Again.” 

“Why can't you accept that it's over between us?” 

“Colino-” 

“Don't call me Colino. I can’t stand it.” 

“Okay, _Nico_. But I love you. And I know you love me. I can't believe you'd throw away what's been between us for a random guy you met.” 

“It’s not only a crush. I'm falling in love with him.” 

“Falling in love? Really? Nico, come on, we both know that your emotions are always over the top in certain cases. Your disorder makes you hyper-emotional but, in the end, it's what's between us that really matters. And you know it.” 

He hesitated for a moment and looked away, so she took his hands in her and smiled at him, condescendingly. 

“Come on, let's go to your room. We lie down on the bed and cuddle as you like.” 

She dragged him into the room, making him sit on the bed, then began to kiss him on the mouth, on the neck, climbing on his legs. Niccolò got overwhelmed by the girl's tongue, immediately responding to the provocation. He put his hands on her hips and higher up to the breast, feeling excitement growing. 

Then a message came. Niccolò stopped abruptly and tried to free himself to pick up the phone. 

"Come on, forget it. Look at it later. " 

"No, wait ..." He moved her from the legs and took the phone in her hand. 

**\- I'm taking pictures in an amazing place... we could hang out later if you're down.**

"Who is it?" 

Niccolò stared at the phone and didn't answer, so Maddalena went over and read the message. "Is he?" Niccolò nodded briefly "You don't want to accept, do you? We said we are together... " 

Actually, _she_ said they were together, he didn't say anything. But everybody knows silence gives consent, so he nodded again and replied to the message. 

**\- I don’t know about meeting up later... maybe things are going way too fast... I know it’s my fault but I need some time. I’m sorry**

“Seen? It wasn't difficult, was it?” She said with a satisfied smile. 

It wasn't, but it hurt terribly. 

*** 

**December 10** **th** **2018 h. 12:34**

**\- Hi! Sorry if I'm writing to you**

_\- Hi Sana! Don’t worry_

**\- I know that you and Martino** **kinda** **have a thing**

_\- Not anymore. I think..._

**\- Oh... Okay. Too bad.**

_\- Why?_

**\- Because I would like to know what happened to him... He didn't come to school today. I thought he might have said something to you. I don't talk much with his friends, so...**

_\- I'm sorry I can't help you_

**\- And you? How are you?**

_\- Sincerely? Bad_

**\- I’m here if you need...**

_\- Okay_

**\- Anyway ... Rami miss you, I also wanted to tell you this.**

_\- Thank you, Sana!_

*** 

**March 18** **th** **2020 h. 08:45 pm**

“So, I think I'm going to do the intermediate exam, at least I take off part of the final one.” Niccolò said as he placed the salad on the already laid table. 

“And when would it be?” Martino was already sitting and pouring himself a drink. 

“Like, in a month.” 

“Oh well you have time then... and will the others students of the course also do it?” 

“Yes, in the end they are all deciding to take advantage of this opportunity. I think we will study together a few days. In fact, I think I will invite them to come here, to be more tranquil. What do you say?” 

Martino nodded then they remained silent for a while: Martino seemed lost in his thoughts and Niccolò waited for him to decide to speak. 

“Look, I've been asking you something for a couple of days.” 

“Tell me.” He felt there was something he wanted to tell him. 

“Well... You never told me about when you were at Virgilio.” 

“What do you want to know?” 

“I don't know. Did you have friends? I don’t even know why you moved to Kennedy.” 

Niccolò sighed softly and looked down. It was difficult to reopen that wound and he had tried in every way to pretend that nothing had happened two years earlier. How to explain what had happened? How to tell it without getting wrong ideas? Because now he knew him well and he knew that if he had told Martino about it, he would have started to think that their relationship was not so important, that it was a kind of fallback... And it wasn't. It never had had been. 

"Why do you ask me that?" 

"Well the other day I saw a picture of Sana's brother profile on Instagram and you were there too." 

_Shit!_

"Yes, that is, we all went to Virgilio together." 

"Eh, Sana told me. But don't you talk anymore? " 

“You know how these things go. Once I changed school, I didn't have time to call them. I wanted to try to make new friends at Kennedy, then I met you and you became my whole world. And we lost sight of each other.” 

Martino smiled at those words. "I'd like to know more, though..." 

“Okay, we were five. Me, Rami, Malik, Driss and... Louai. We were always together, a bit like you with Gio and the others. Then...” He just couldn't tell him about Louai, it would have hurt him too much. "I told you, I changed school. End of the story!" 

Martino stared at him for a moment and Niccolò was convinced he was going to tell him something else, but instead, he remained silent and took his hand with a smile. "Okay. Come on, let's eat, I want to lie on the sofa and watch Netflix.” 

He had chosen not to insist and Niccolò was grateful. 

*** 

**April 11** **th** **2020 h. 04:54 am**

As soon as they entered the house, Martino immediately lay down on the bed, still quite sore on the nose where they had put a light bandage on him. They hadn't said a word all the way home, although Niccolò had occasionally glanced at him while he was driving. 

“How's your nose?” He asked as he laid down next to the boy. 

“So and so... My head hurts more than anything else.” Martino replied, moving close to him and embracing him tightly. 

“Relax and sleep then.” He said again, a little coldly. 

“Are you angry with me?” 

“I should not? You pounced on Louai even if you were an animal.” 

“Well, he deserved it...” Martino replied, leaving a kiss on the boy's neck. 

Niccolò raised him to sit on the bed and looked at him bewildered. “Why? Since we were just talking, Marti.” 

Martino also sat cross-legged. “An inch from the face?” 

“We weren't so close.” 

“Yeah, for sure. Giovanni and I also talk, but guess what, not on the other's mouth.” 

“Neither do we. Please, there's nothing between me and Louai.” 

“Ah no? Never been? Because you seemed pretty close on my opinion.” 

“No, never, we've always been just friends. And by the way, you know I haven't seen all of them for years, I also told you.” 

“yeah, of course.” 

“Well, forget it. What a great shitty figure you made me do." He definitely got up and taking the pillow to leave the room. 

“Where are you going?” 

“On the sofa, I'm not sleepy and I don't want to fight with you.” 

“Wait, come on...” 

Niccolò closed the door behind him and laid down on the sofa, picking up the phone and writing a message. 

_\- Hi! Sorry for Martino._

**\- Don’t worry... I understand. I too would be jealous of you :)**

_\- Did he hurt you?_

**\- No, I guess Rami hurt him more than he hurt me**

_\- Well maybe... I was glad to see you again_

**\- Me too. And to be here again**

_\- Eh I guess_

**\- But you don't have to feel guilty okay? I'm fine ... then I'll tell you about Matteo**

_\- Matteo?_

**-** **Shhhh** **no traces ;)**

_\- Okay :)_

Perhaps he should have clear things with Martino but at the moment his overreaction had irritated him. He hadn't seen Louai for two years and after all they had lived and all the guilt he felt – damn it, everything happened because he had been so stupid to risk getting caught just for being with him and the only one who had lost was Louai – he needed to talk to him and Martino had attacked him, not even they were making out. 

Then an epiphany: _Martino doesn't know anything about that story_. 

Fuck! 

*** 

**April 21** **st** **2020 h. 07:11 am**

He heard the alarm clock in the distance, still numb from sleep and wrapped in the heat of Martino who was embracing him from behind, resting on the same pillow. He moved from his position, while Martino turned away, and rubbed his eyes to wake up completely. Then he looked at his boyfriend with a smile and left him a kiss on the shoulder. 

"Come on, Marti, wake up. It's a quarter past seven!" 

"One moment and I get up." The boy murmured, directly on the pillow. 

“Okay! I'll make you breakfast.” 

He got up and went to the kitchen, where he put the coffee maker on the fire and pulled the packet of biscuits out of the cupboard. In the storm he felt the vibration of the arrival of a message on the phone. 

**\- Hey are you awake?**

It was Louai. 

From the Easter party night, they had written each other a few times. Martino did not know about it. And he felt terribly guilty about this, but after the reaction he had had, even ending up at the hospital, he didn't want to create further tension between them. Not that really compromising things were being written on those messages, but Louai had told him about this boy and asked him not to say anything to anyone. And the fear that his parents might find out him again and send him back to their Country with the risk, this time more concrete, that they could hurt him and force him to do things he did not want... He had made him desist from telling someone, even if the latter was Martino. His Martino. 

_\- Yes, I'm making breakfast_

**\- Okay, I need the advice of a friend engaged in a serious relationship**

_\- So, no Rami?_

**\- No :) and not even Driss, for that matter...**

_-_ _hahaha_ _right... tell me everything!_

**\- What do you do if your boyfriend, very jealous, with whom you quarrelled because he didn't want you to go to the GMI but you went there anyway and now he doesn't want to talk to you???**

_\- Oh wow! What a long question..._

_\- Give me a second and I'll tell you_

He saw Martino come in, still a little sleepy, and sit down at the table. 

“Good morning!” 

“Thanks!” The boy said with a yawn, when Niccolò placed the coffee cup and the cookies in front of him. 

Both felt the vibration of Niccolò's phone which warned of the arrival of another message. Niccolò put it down with the screen down. 

“Don't you read it?” 

“No, it's just advertising for offer.” 

Martino grunted unconvinced. They remained silent for a while. Niccolò finished his coffee and was about to get up from the table when Martino stopped him. "Are you going to get the car today?" At Niccolò's nod, he nodded too. "Are you going to pick me up at school?"   
"Yes, of course. I had already thought about it."   
"No, because the bike ride is romantic, beautiful, whatever you want but with a backpack full of books it's really uncomfortable."   
Niccolò smiled, agreeing with him. Martino's request for comfort, that was revealed every time he offered him something adventurous, always made him smile. When he heard again the vibration of the phone, he roused himself from his thoughts. “I'm going to the bathroom to get ready. Okay?” 

“Okay!” 

Niccolò entered the bathroom, feeling Martino's gaze fixed on him until he closed the door. He sighed softly and reopen Louai's messages. 

**\- Okay, I'll wait :)**

**\- Oh are you dead? :(**

_\- Hey sorry there was Martino in front and I couldn't answer you_

_\- However, if I were you, I would ask one of his friends to ambush him and take him in an isolated place where are just the two of us to clarify. Well, I would tell you to show up in front of his house, but I understand that it could be too risky._

**\- Eh I don't know his friends, maybe the only solution is show myself up there...**

**\- Sorry if I'm messing with your boyfriend**

_\- Not at all, don't worry. Let me know how it goes_

**\- Sure! I am really happy to have you back in my life. I missed you so much**

He read the last message and lost a heartbeat. He too had been missing the boy. Something was growing between them when his parents separated them, but that wasn't what made him feel bad. Because, first of all, they were friends, best friends, and lose the only person with whom he talked and with whom he felt free to be himself, without prejudice, without fear of screwing everything up – because Louai knew everything about Niccolò and he remained beside him anyway – all of this had devastated him. 

_\- Me too :)_

_\- Now I go otherwise I'm afraid that Martino gets too suspicious_

**\- Okay, thanks for the advice. You are a really good friend**

_\- You too <3 _

He smiled on the phone, blocking it then went out of the bathroom to go get dressed. Martino found himself in front of him, staring at him with his arms folded. 

“What were you doing in the bathroom?” 

“Nothing... I brushed my face and teeth. Why?” 

“And did you go with the phone?” 

“What's the problem, sorry?” 

“If you had a smartphone, no problem, but you have a fucking Nokia, Nì. Don't fucking kid me. What were you doing in the bathroom?” 

Niccolò sighed heavily. He knew that Martino would be suspicious and for a moment he wanted to tell him everything, but every time he was about to do it, it came back in his mind when Louai was carried away in front of his eyes, his parents who yelled at him for having diverted their son, the silence of the following months. And the fear that everything would start again like a bad nightmare stopped him. 

“Marti, what's wrong with you?” He asked then, trying to seem more peaceful than he was. 

Martino shook his head and approached him, a few centimetres from his face. “Show me the phone.” 

Niccolò was appalled by the request. “What? No!” 

“If you have nothing to hide, show me the phone.” 

“Don't you trust?" 

“You're not giving me a way to trust you. Show me that fucking phone Nì!" He cursed, trying to pull it out of his hands. 

He felt trapped. For the first time he felt betrayed by Martino, because after more than a year together he still didn't trust him, even though he was doing an arduous job on himself in order to be worthy of trust. And yes, maybe he was wrong to omit something that was essentially a simple friendship between two boys who had once felt a strong feeling for each other, but Martino would have to accept that there were things he had no control over. And his past was one of these things. 

“No, I won't show you.” 

“What are you hiding from me? It's about Luoai, isn't it?” His voice trembled as he said his name and Niccolò looked down, shaking his head slightly. “Are you dating again? Are you cheating on me?” Martino's voice became so small and there was so much pain in that question, that Niccolò heard a gash in the heart. 

“No, I'm not cheating on you. I would never do it. We are just friends. But, yes, we are in touch again.” 

“I don’t believe you.” 

“Why not? It's the truth, Marti!” 

“If you're just friends why are you hiding it from me, then?” 

“I can't tell you...” Niccolò saw a lonely tear drop from Martino's face. 

“It cannot go on like this. You are hiding too many things from me, I can't trust...” 

“Are you breaking up with me?” 

“Well, at least I'll let you live your great love with Louai.” 

“There is no great love with Louai. We are just friends; I swear to you!” 

“Nì, I'm not a jerk. I saw at the party the way you looked at each other.” 

“We hadn't seen each other for two years; I barely knew he had returned to Rome. That’s what you saw.” 

“But you knew. And suddenly you start talk to him as if these two years had never passed? Nì, what the fuck are you saying?” 

“Sana told me he was back, but there's nothing else. But if you don't trust me, after a year and a half that we're together, I...” 

“So, it's over.” 

“I don't want to end it.” 

“I'm not the one who's cheating. I'm leaving. I'll be back to get my stuff tonight. Then consider yourself free to hang out with whoever you want. Stay with Louai, since you want it so hard.” 

“Marti...” 

Then he saw Martino leave the house, without looking back. And he felt overwhelmed with pain. What had just happened? Had he really broken up with the only person he ever fell in love with for real? And who had made him feel loved, safe and secure? 

He looked around in that empty house. 

_It’s over._

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, I already wrote that I'm sorry, so now I'll wait the insults.


End file.
